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The View from my sleeper chair
One of the nurses here on the 6th floor of the hospital thought it would be a good idea to give me a booklet on the dying process. I guess she thought it was about that time. The only issue I have with this is that none of the information seems to apply to Ry and his dying process. According to the booklet, the condition Ry has been in for the past 2 weeks should have only taken a couple days, possibly even a couple of hours. We, meaning Ry’s family, his doctors, and his nurses, are totally gobsmacked that he is still alive mostly because he was taken off of nutrition and fluids over 2 weeks ago and technically the human body cannot survive like this for more than 2 weeks.
I suppose the tiny amount of fluid being used to flush his veins so his pain medication can be taken intravenously has been enough to keep him hydrated enough to linger longer than most would be able to. Ry has certainly proven he is incredibly strong. Although his death will leave a giant hole in all of our hearts, I am getting really tired of sleeping at the hospital every night and dealing with all of the complications involved with his lack of circulation, his emaciated body, and constantly being in bed. Ry’s body is so fragile that he needs 3 people to turn him to avoid breaking his bones and so his bedsores don’t get worse. Even with constant turning and the use of an airbed, Ry has started to get bedsores. (FYI, bedsores start out as innocuous little pink or red areas typically on pressure points like the joints, they will often then develop into bruises and then into blisters, if the blister pops an open wound will form.) The nurses assure me that people don’t really feel their bedsores and Ry is so medicated he is pretty oblivious to everything. I still don’t like them.
Except for the Cancer, Ry has been extremely healthy. This is being proven right now. His heart still beats strongly and his kidneys are fully functional (as evidenced by his foley catheter).
We have been waiting and staying with him in shifts 24/7, supposedly because we don’t want him to die alone. Some of us don’t want to feel guilty for not noticing his passing or missing that one last opportunity to say “I love you,” and “Goodbye.” Maybe this is how I am feeling too. I definitely feel responsible for him and his well being, to help him feel comfortable and safe, and finally for his actual body. As Medical Power of Attorney I will have the dubious honor of signing over his body to the mortuary.
Until Ry has taken his final breath, we will continue to turn him to minimize his bedsores, clean the awful tumor site on his neck, suction his trach so he can breath more freely, pump him full of pain meds, hold his hand, caress his brow, kiss his cheek, and tell him that we love him.
Please note: The internet connection here at the hospital is terrible most of the time, so this may be my last post until, well, you know.
Related articles
- Soaring numbers of patients die with bedsores and infected wounds (telegraph.co.uk)
- Three in four nurses are too busy to talk to patients – AOL Lifestyle UK (news.google.com)
Filed under: TMI, Uncategorized Tagged: Cancer, Death, Head and neck cancer, Health, Hospital, Oncology, Oral Cancer, Pain Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
